The Laughing Stock Of Indie Rock
 
Yadda Yadda Yadda no. 1
I think it’s that girlfriend
I’m a failed country
You’re in it for one
And western yodeller
You’re in it for two
Trying our hands
You’re in it for two
I’m in it for two
Delivery girl
And that’s for starters
I say what harm can
And hunt that bootleg
One little sip do

At something so new
Even hunt a few
Years of brylcreeming
A couple of bars
Nearly grown out hair
You make your come back
You sign the contract
Into a ducks’ ass
With a paperback
Delivery girl
You sign the contract
You make the soundtrack
And hunt that bootleg
A Round Figure
Are you a used car, car dealer ?
You want to sell your four-wheeler ?

Seven hundred miles from here.
And maybe three motels dear.
You came a long long way, you came long long way.
Oh come on baby

He shuts the door with a noise.
Is this the one of your choice ?
Say pretty weird stuff
Got cash but not enough
Is this the one of your choice ?
Say pretty weird stuff
Got cash but not enough

Are you a used car, car dealer ?
You want to sell your four-wheeler ?
You think this won't be the single most numero uno party joke throughout the fuckin' nation. I think this won't be the single…
The Boxer
You gotta move in !

Suppose that what you drink…
deep or not at all…
What on earth are you,
are you going to do…
Live a leisured life

move into the ball !
move into the ball !
and not away from it !

A week or so after the crocuses appeared you began to grow your beard
Aiming for King Kong Lear
Take it to the zoo

Sure you are wholehearted !

You gotta move in !
Sure you are wholehearted !
Honkey Donkey
Because I happen to be a foolish thick headed honkey donkey.
And when a thick headed donkey like me makes up her foolish thick headed mind,
most of the time she gets what she wants. And you are going to help me.
Ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah
Give me a kiss and I’ll smile again.
‘As long As I Toughen Up My Sound’, played about a dozen shows or so under that name, all neighbours came.
Should have married a quiet little girl who’s afraid of everything.
Ah ah ah ah ah

Ah ah ah ah ah
I could not hear a drum beat, but my heart beat, with it,
go go go go beat it
and I want it
and I need it
Because I happen to be a foolish thick headed honkey donkey

Should make it, honkey, short and sweet !
You’re Ugly
He wears a shirt that says Jack, Jack Daniel
He wears a hat that says I, I love you
Yeah it was a bit surprising
Big black choir:
And they made the sun kept shining
Higher
Higher
Higher
Hoot and holler

Hot Diggity Dog Run Run Run

Look for some place where we can stay the night
Why did you have to get into a fight
That’s just what I was going to ask you
I just thought that would put new life in you

Hot diggity dog run run run

Have some fun
Slap that girl on her bum
Have some fun

Hot diggity dog run run run

Look for some place where we can stay the night
Why did you have to get into a fight
That’s just what I was going to ask you
I just thought that would put new life in you

Hot diggity dog run run
Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like An Egyptian
ZzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
My B-sides Rock Your World
I thought we would buy tins of sardines.
It’s not the kind of day I would want to go to sea.
If you ask me, you’re a fine fellow to put yourself at the head of the party.
Now aren’t you ?
Oh boy

My b-sides rock your world.
He said; “uh, yeah that’s what I want”
He said; “uh, is there a way that I can stay”
That’s a pretty good idea but I hope you’ve got a few more like that.
Two three or four.
Oh boy
On An Ordinary Day
He’s sort of shiny on the cheeks and red around the eyes.
Dishes out clockwise but keeps his eyes on board and dice.

I came through this door.
I slept here before.
And made love, love, love
And I’m not ashamed that I forgot your name.
Yeah we made love, love, love
You talk like someone I had a crush on.
And we made love, love, love

Potatoes and eel.
It is an ordinary meal.
Iced café au lait
Oh on an ordinary day

I came through this door
I slept here before
And we made love, love, love
And I’m not ashamed that I forgot your name
Yeah we made love, love, love

An old short story as simply put as it can be.
Finish with brandy and celebrate it heavily.
Oh on an ordinary day.
The Showmaster
Over to get Betty,
B B B Betty
Sweetheart of our Tony
Toe Tony
Exit five for Betty
B B B Betty
Three, four, five
On the gas, drive !

And fade into the light of common day, that’s right!
In a large old black Ford.
I wish I had tour support.

Over to get Betty,
B B B Betty
Sweetheart of our Tony
Toe Tony
Exit five for Betty
B B B Betty
Three, four, five
On the gas, drive !

And as they flashed past farms
Ai ai ah, ai ai ah
Dogs ran out, barking “barns’
Ai ai ah, ai ai ah
Prepared at risk of their lives
Ai ai ah, ai ai ah
To run besides the car

Over to get Betty,
B B B Betty
Sweetheart of our Tony
Toe Tony
Take That Gum Out !
The thing about Homer was he was the owner of a reputation.
He made his hands hard with labour.
Oh come on

Co co co co co co
Oh come on babe, come on

And not so long ago he hired a boat to row his love up the river.
He made his hands hard with labour
Oh come on

Co co co co co co
Oh come on babe, come on
Take that gum out !
Take that gum out of your mouth!e
You’ve Got Me
I don’t know why
I don’t know how

I don’t know how
I don’t know why

Nobody told you.
How to unfold your love.
You were inverted too.
They bought and sold you.
How to unfold your love.
He sees the handle and pulled at the door, pulled off the uproar
 
Low Kick and Hard Bop
 
Low Kick and Hard Bop
Elisabeth: "Cab !"
Carry mine and I'll walk like you,
will nod, or go and get a cab.
Think nothing of it. I feel fine.
Carry mine and I'll walk like you,
will nod, or go and get a cab.
Here, in the north part.
Here's my sweetheart.
He's a bit like you, some others too.
If I only knew.
Mere Imposters
Of course they just tried to remove
the apple from a bucket of
(water without using their hands).
A drink would make you feel better.
They raced the waiter with a tray.
Hey ! They raced each other the same way.
Hey ! Raced him with their tray, only for a day.
Of course they just tried to remove
the bucket from that little mad
(man I then saw with the huge head).
Hey ! They raced the waiter with a tray.
Hey ! They raced each other the same way.
Hey ! Raced him with their tray, only for a day.
He snapped his fingers and then recited a sing-song one.
Part of a play-party game.
No-one did catch it's name.
They began about a quarter past one o'clock in the morning.
A rhythmic quick-cadenced walking around the dining room table.
And they're still at it.
Have you no Shame Girl?
The show's highlight was
a good cat fight.
The dancing girls were practicing
their high kicks.
I've also been skanking across
my kitchen floor to these sounds.
Or, as one critic might have phrased it
(and they love to scream at people too);
A few chords embracing each other
that were not even kissing cousins.
Not a Hoot
They had turkey wing fans and they felt kind of elegant.
Nothing to do but just sit there.
I wanted them to walk by him the way
they would pass by a person asking for money in an alley.
They not only wrote like him,
they also walked with his rolling slouch,
drank like his heroes and heroines,
cultivated a hard-boiled melancholy.
And he writes slowly in longhand.
PossiblY fortY lines a day (rhymes).
Knee-High
Some sock in the eye.
And she fell in the inglenook.
She's so flat and tenderfoot.
Forelocks in the way,
absolute.
If you will, romp in the nook.
And a bit knee-high.
And she fell in the inglenook.
She's so flat and tenderfoot.
Forelocks in the way,
absolute.
If you will, romp in the nook.
Honey (Amsterdam is not LA)
A colony of bees swarmed on the saddle of his brand new bike yeah
ha ha aha.
They have all this sunshine but they still buy hardtop cars.
Cross your hands on the steering wheel.
A little curve in the road
and suddenly you are proceeding east...another and you head north.
A colony of bees swarmed on the saddle of his brand new bike yeah,
ha ha aha.
He was clearly making an impression on the two beauties
Ann and Jill, yeah, and he sat down.
Shoot Shoot!
I'll tell you a better story than
'Little Kay of the Skates',
or 'The Snow Ghost'.
He tore off some tender new tips and
rubbed them on his hands
until the air was filled with the sharp smell.
Just tore off some tender new tips.
The afternoon wind struck him and
blew up his hair and ruffled his shirt.
Shoot shoot
! He came in his breeches and his shirt.
The tail was flying out behind him.
He stood there, looking up at me
like a wild-eyed cow moose.
Surprised in the sheriffs' only cornfield.
Blew up his hair and ruffled his shirt.
Shoot shoot !
Comely Row
'I'm Popeye the Sailorman',
or whichever old tune he sang.
Spiced up with a few hot damns.
The sailorman;
he made a comely row of trees
on each side of the country road,
so that a daily sort of man,
driving beneath them in his lumber wagon,
might fancy himself lord of a private road.
Right after the first few notes
all the goats turned their heads.
They would get fed.
He was a tall lanky guy
with stooped shoulders and a shy seemed studious face.
'Popeye the Sailorman'.
Ease Up, You Fundamentalist!
They were all
using the mirrors
to study their mouth
movements for themselves.
They were all
learning that
the curve is the thing
when making up lips.
The Dot on the i Between the h and the t
What you'll do I do too.
So that is the dot on the i between the h and the t.
The tap on the knee.
The pot for the pee.
Keep on doing what you're doing,
'cause you're doing something right.
What you'll do I do too.
They all gazed at me a long time
as if I were a slot machine
into which they had,
without results,
dropped a nickel.
Coin-op on the countertop
of the record shop.
What you'll do I do too.
Good Comrades Go to Heaven
Claims to have the worlds' most dangerous variety trick.
The wife sits perched on his desk ready to take the next dictation.
She was the embodiment of the 'good comrade'.
I just don't think they never ever had a better day.
What a day that was. HMMM...
Sure she had to much manly gossip and old brandy.
She reported the first warm spring weather over the weekend.
They could have cheerfully gone on being in debt.
I just don't think they never ever had a better day.
What a day that was. HMMM...
Cayenne
We went to the local fish-shack restaurant
and ordered two dozen crabs dusted with cayenne.
Steamed up and served with a pair of wooden mallets.
I never had anything like that.
They all seem to earn a living by jumping off city-bridges.
Visitors could only rub their eyes in amazement.
Just because they were not used to so much happiness.
Ololo
He writes rhymes for his friends' children. Dotes on mystery stories, and at the slightest provocation he sings folk songs. Of key and in key. Here and there people sat on benches. Reading newspapers or straining their faces to the sun, their eyes closed, trying to catch a bit of sunburn to carry home proudly. He pulled his feet under his bench as he was ashamed of his shoes. His dog loves to walk and travel in cars, in planes, on rafts, in elevators and on escalators. Then we'll let some daylight into it for once if it kills us right on the spot. No sort of middle state, no easy jog-trot with him. If he never wrote when he wasn't in the mood, he would make no headway. Ololo
You Say Potato, I say Aardappel
Say To
Say Pel
Look...No Fingerprints!
He replaced his hat and rubbed his hands like that.
Two dogs waved their tails and ran ahead to jail, WOW !
He combs his whiskers and rubs up his shoes
and brushes his clothes.
His name's Kelly. Kelly scored his first knockout when he was only fifteen.
The knockee was his brother Jean.
I don't think he has a subtle bone in his body.
Kelly; "When the money's gone, it is gone. I shall smoke a lot and burn holes.
When the money's gone, it is gone."
He replaced his hat and rubbed his hands like that.
Two dogs waved their tails and ran ahead to jail, WOW !
He combs his whiskers and rubs up his shoes and brushes his clothes.
His name's Kelly. Kelly scored his first knockout
when he was only fifteen.
The knockee was his brother Jean.
Only thirteen.
 
Pick-up
 
Pick-up
Come on, you know you're not like her.
Got me on my knees.
I'd never heard her say, wished that I could stay.
I'm like her maybe.
But I love to catch up with her.
I want to oversleep.
I'm in this way too deep, wish that I could stay.
I'm like her maybe.
You can make some hay with this,… kid.
I'm in this way too deep.
I'd never heard her say, that she's straight or gay.
I love her maybe.
Randy Costanza
He's got a generous smattering of charm, yes.
Maybe some day he's able to spot me a mile away.
He said with a grin to show, he was kidding so and so.
What to do, I'm confused.
Nothing new.
Made great faces and frowns, standing there naked with his cute undies,
Every weekend undies in both his hands.
Well I stood with my back to that old kitchen rack.
He said: "I'm bad".
Well I wish I had a response to that…
Dork at 12 o'clock

And there I stood, facing a remote control camera…
Well, did he come back, did he come?
This argument is right out of his greatest hits, just because…..
Well, did he come back, did he come?
That stuff gives him a bang.
There's nothing like that man.
Pretty dark out there, but kept chucking the ball around anyway.
And we both caught a cold.
That's what I've been told.
He had me glued to my seat with this crap.

That's what you get with people like that on cruises like these….
I won a cruise.
I'm on the loose.
Jump in a pool with lots of booze,
In my bright blue suits from Taiwan, China,
And bright yellow shirts with my collar spread open.
Oh blimey!
And she felt in her pockets and pulled out all…nananananana…
That was inside;
A handful of bits and bobs…nananananana…
On the table.
Oh blimey!
All shiny from suntan,…some coins and a ballpoint.
She was facing me and walking backwards,
And I could see her eyes growing as round as saucers.
Fresh as a rose on the day of the battle, or whatever that poem is
Truly sweet
The burglars are coming!!
Picked with a hairpin.
I saw you, come on now Eddy, Eddy, Eddy!
Picking it come on now Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie.
The refrigerator is right there, right there, right.
When you were young you had bones to chew I know.
Wish I had a brick served with cream, I said.
And a Chinese take away is food for the Gods to you, am I right?
Besides…
Superfluity
I'll be right back.
Don't forget the cognac…
Makes you warm inside somehow.
So delicious and nutritious, superfluity and delicious.
Or else she pulls the shades down,
There she goes, parties at home…buffalo roam
She settled on the cold floor, feeling it become warm beneath her as she went to sleep.
Snappy & cocky
I slapped a pound note down on the counter.
"Make that three I ordered and make it snappy, sir".
And they thought I looked the other way,
when they were standing in the lee of a slag-heap,
making water.
And I'm glad I did.
They are quite touchy about anything like that personal stuff.
I had simply pasted the new photo over the old one.
And I'm glad I did.
Five star Shamberg
He had never done anything like that one.
Oh my, five stars.
I got him tanked up, took him out in the car.
Pass me this new tape,
With a little luck we might get an idea of what it is like to get famous as Hawaii bums.
Kind of sounds like I've played this before, not this film edit, sure.
You should play this when that lean-jawed guy tries shellfish in Hawaii for the first time.
Chris the birthday boy

Well he had insisted on paying for the meal,
But his jaw dropped when he saw the bill.
And suddenly he is just about at vague as you can get,
Without being actually invisible.
I have to keep this body going he must have thought.
But if someone jumped the queue he would give them a sharp crack on the head with his enormous wooden, brown wooden spoon.
Where do you think he's going with her handbag?

Athens, Ohio
And I listened to her without trying to come up with an excuse to leave.
She used to laugh so hard at something, she thought of on the toilet,
that she just about fell off the toilet seat.
Wasn't snowing out anymore, but every once in a while you could hear a car not being able to get started.
All too easily.
She might have been the usual sort of landlady smelling of washing-soda and backing-powder.
She was one of these very tall round-shouldered women, she was.
About six-four with lousy teeth.
She came over to me, and gave me these two playful as hell slaps on both my cheeks.
I gave her the wrong idea perhaps.
She shouldn't be allowed to watch any and every program.
Fifty-three miles an hour in a forty mile-zone and attempted bribery.
Mary Springer married Jerry…
…and everything smelled as if she had loads and loads of Vicks nose-drops.
Escargot!
Well I cannot take you anywhere,
But it is no fun going without you, hon.
Well I can use figures to prove anything, Tapes and such you bought to play along with.
You're the sort of guy one runs into in London.
If you must drive at a crawl like this, you should be in the near side lane.
I sometimes think the only thing to do with my car is to push it over a cliff,
A cliff, Richard.
Think you could get high on water if you believed it was a somewhat tasteless rum.
I've come to look after you, it's just as well by the look of things.
Another tune like "not fade away"
She looked as though she might be in shock.
Please open the door.
I had to knock.
Wish I could see her feet on the floor.
The old routine.
I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Till she's drip-dry.
I swear I could hear her hum a tune,
Another tune like "not fade away".
I guess she could look at it that way.
I had to wait for her classmate to fill me in on her last date.
That'll be $22.95
He was back on the track,
Coming at her.
Acting more like a girl than ever.
He straightened his curls, moving his shoulders, veiling he's balder.
He knows,…but quite a fuss over a haircut.
Nobody would know about it but us.
He just is my dear supermarket cashier.
Never went, during lunch breaks, to the gents.
The firstborn is mad

Still says he wants to be a slapstick comedian,
Or be Stanley Kubrik.
Thinking the guy was a jazz drummer.
He's got his number.
It won't hurt you to let this one go.
Well, the telephone account has come in and
I don't need to tell you it is a shocker yeah.
And I thought you were spending the Saturday afternoon
at the football.
He was asked to sing for his supper and he instantly stood up and sang
A few lines of the cuff, although not without the notes he copied that day.

 
Solex vs. the Hitmeister
 
One Louder Solex
I think we would better tactfully put an end to the
evening now, a little kicking over the traces goes a
long way at this age. And we were both bundled up
in nice tweeds and flannels. What she needed she
couldn't have. For all I knew she was stone-deaf. I
said front page, she heard teenage, so I tried read
but she heard sweet. "There's a bag of sweets
floating around somewhere, let me see, I realy had
it with me when I visited the Grand Prix."

Solex Feels Lucky

...and I think once about you, like I should, and I
feel so lucky too. Like you, I don't feel at ease so
easily. It's so easy to walk on, ...and put up the
collar of my jacket. The more I show, the more I
go. We're both anxious to say hello. Just put every
story between brackets. So I turn my back and
scrunch up into an awkward position too,
somewhat unnatural too. Well I really wish we felt
closer to each other too. I thank you for having me
around but wouldn't it be better if we just wrote,
and make up some kind of anecdote to make up for
each one I forgot.
Solex In A Slipshod Style
The straps kept slipping off my shoulder, kept on
slipping in a slipshod style. "Look Jimmy look, look
at it look, shoot!, ...I mistook you for someone I
knew for some time, 'cause he also took his drinks
with lime. Look Jimmy look, look at it look! Look,
yes we took a quick snifter before the party, ...fixed
them in a slapdash way for me." So slaphappy. We
were so slaphappy. So slaphappy.

Waking Up With Solex

In the morning we soaped each other down.
Smooth down my nightgown. Hungry, 'cause the
smells from the kitchen filled the room. Don't wear
your perfume today. "We had this habbit, ...we
did."
...and your water 's sloshing against the sides of the
bathtub. And I smeared our faces with cream.
Solex' Snag
...can't feel my leg. I got a snag in my best thights.
This was the best of all our nights. I got a snag in
my best thights. We were curled up snugly in bed
after hours of smooching in the backseat of this car.
Ahahahahaha ...
There's A Solex On The Run

I would leave the place tomorrow with never a
backward glance.
So I laughed and brushed past him out of the room
with my spoon and plate still in my hands. You're a
little tense, "...look at your hands." "But why do you
leave me here, here's where one goes to have a real
good time." He said: "my dear", just after I had
finished my meal out there on the hallway. Well
well, not today. You're a little tense.
Look at your hands from across the hall. "Got to
make a call..."

Solex All Licketysplit

As soon as I got a paycheck, you ask me to make
it hightech and to bleach my flecks. Tabloids will be
all over it. Do you think I should be timid all
licketysplit. 'Upswing, playting !' That's very
flattering. 'Brandnew !' And that's just a preview.
'One-two !' I wouldn't know how-to...
Solex For A While
"Your boy is not stupid miss. He does not learn
easily but he gets there bit by bit miss." So he bit his
lip and said no more for a while 'cause he knew a
boys best friend is his mother. "A man with money
to spend has no lack of friends honey." And he bit
his lip. And he was afraid it was one of those
beautiful springmornings that made you feel life was
realy worth living. With the honest light of day on
the world.
Some Solex
Some girl at the door is asking to see you.
Well-to-do, looks like aircrew. She liked the view
of you. Some girl at the door is asking to see you.
She's just doing a background-check about a kind
of hijack. Some girl at the door is asking to see you.
Like a prize money can't buy, honey I'm here to
blow-dry.
When Solex Just Stood There
You smashed your new car in the fog. "...so shall
we sit in a smoker or a non-smoker?" Walk smartly
into the room. Slink around in full costume. What a
nice honeymoon. Brown hair shot with grey, it's a
shame you're gay. I just stood there, you just loved
my hair.
Peppy Solex
"I've got to hang up now, ...got to write a song
somehow. Because today went out the small
backway. I stood there on some freeway. I catched
an ashtray. Today I can handle whatever comes up.
You are still sulking over what has happened to
your review. Went down to the U-turn, just like a
confident girl and got a ride. And got it open-eyed
just like a confident girl. Bye bye miss Hyde.
Solex Is Barely Dressed

She's barely
Dressed, but she is.
Now she's slumbering peacefully.
She's just a soppy girl.
And if (then I would take)
I had (it like a shot)
The chance (then I would take)
To go (it like a shot)
She is such a
Slender girl
With fake curls.
"She's just a soppy girl,"
Said her younger brother.
"She's just a soppy girl.
Like in my, in my, in my
Cheap novel full of slush.
Like in my, in my, in my
Cheap novel full of slush."
(in my in my in my in my...)

Solex West

As ever you said nothing to me,
Your manners are always so smarmy,
So clever.
My shabby appearance
Drew sniggers from the guests...
Made a shot at Mae West.
Santa Monica ( Kissing a man with a beard )

Kissing a man with a beard, with a beard
under a tree. It rains dear, my old friend.
Kissing my dear old beard.